Speak Over Yourself

"As I lay me down, heaven hear me now.  I'm lost without a cause after giving it my all..." - I Look To You : Whitney Houston

Do you ever have a day where you hit a wall and you know you are done?  Where you don't have one iota of fight left in you and you just cannot see the way forward?

Those are the days where no-one can say anything to make things better for you.  Those are the days when you must speak over yourself.

Not One More Day, Lord Not One More Minute

I live with a physical condition that just sucks the strength from my body.  I get so tired I struggle to hold my head up sometimes.  

There are days when I cry out 'Father, not one more day!'  Then I am reminded that it’s not about me.  It’s not about my strength and it’s not about my limitations.

“And Jacob was left alone; and there wrestled a man with him until the breaking of the day.

And when he saw that he prevailed not against him, he touched the hollow of his thigh; and the hollow of Jacob's thigh was out of joint, as he wrestled with him.

And he said, Let me go, for the day breaketh. And he said, I will not let thee go, except thou bless me.” Gen 32 : 24-26

Those are the days when I am happy that I believe in God.  I believe in the story of Jacob who wrestled with God’s angel and refused to let go until he received his blessing.  Those are the days I fall down in prayer and refuse to let go until I have found peace.

I'm Trying to Pray But Where Are You

"Truth is I'm tired, options are few, I try to pray but where are you?" - Take Me To The King : Tamela Mann

Have you ever felt like God has abandoned you?  We are such fragile creatures, we are beset by so many things that break our spirits.  Troubled marriages, inhospitable jobs, uncontrollable children, abuse, addiction, tragedies, trauma, sickness, financial struggles and the list goes on...

I wish I could say that those who believe in God have an easier road of it but the truth is suffering is universal.  But some of us believe that there is a power bigger than ourselves, all seeing, all knowing all powerful and that this power cares for us in our fragile state.  We believe that this power hears us when we pray.  But some days we pray and He just doesn't seem to be there.

Father Can You Hear Me?

“Father can you hear me?  We need your love today.  I know that you are listening, you hear us when we pray” – Father Can You Hear Me : Tyler Perry

Sometimes we look at our problems and they seem so big, so insurmountable.  They loom above us like granite cliffs, impenetrable and unscalable. 

Sometimes we fall on our knees in front of our mountains and we pray for them to be removed but when we look up they're still there. Day after day, month after month, year after year we pray and still we look up and we see our mountains.

And sometimes we question, "Father do you hear us when we call?  Or are you even there at all?

He Is Able

"Yet I know when my eyes refuse to see, he is able; even though it seems impossible to me, he is able." - He is able : Wintley Phipps

The songwriter says, "If He chooses not to move, the way we think He should, confident He's working altogether for my good, I will stand behind His word for He is able".

I respect all religious belief systems.  I'm not much hung up on whether you call God He or She, whether you say Yahweh of Buddha or Tao.  I'm struck by this knowing that we seem to have as human beings that there is something out there.  Something that binds us together, that guides our paths, sometimes intervening to turn us around altogether, sometimes giving us that extra boost just when we need it.

I think this knowing is important in our attempts to deal with the biggest challenges that life throws at us.  When we feel most fragile it is comforting to think that something bigger than us sees what lies behind that cliff, and sees our way over it also.

Speak Over Yourself

"Sometimes you have to encourage yourself, sometimes you have to speak victory during the test; And no matter how you feel, just speak the word and you will be healed, speak over yourself, encourage yourself in the Lord" - Speak Over Yourself : Donald Lawrence

So when we hit that wall, we need to start at believing and then we need to start to speak over ourselves.  Some people will reach out to others when they are hurting, trying desperately to get some level of assurance, comfort and support.  I call those the twilight hours, for when the dark night of the soul descends, there is no reaching outward.  People pull into their own suffering and the only voice which matters is their own.

"Sometimes you have to look in the mirror and tell yourself you can make it

Remember that life and death lies in the power of your own tongue

Even if nobody tells you you can run on, you tell yourself"- Speak Over Yourself 

Sometimes the voices in our own heads can be so cruel.  Who can castigate us more cruelly than we castigate ourselves.  Who can spell out more clearly the many ways in which we are less than worthy?  Who can make us feel more unloved, abandoned and alone?

“Everything the enemy tells me, it's a lie”- Speak Over Yourself

These are the times when we must acknowledge that we are our own worst enemy, and that everything we are hearing is a lie.  We must tell ourselves that we are worthy.  We must tell ourselves that we are valued and valuable.  We must tell ourselves that there is a purpose to our suffering.  We must tell ourselves that we can make it through. Remember that life and death is in the power of your own tongue.

I Just Can't Give Up Now

"I just can't give up now, come too far from where I started.  Nobody told me the road would be easy and I don't believe He brought me this far to leave me" - I just can't give up now : Mary Mary

We must tell ourselves that no matter what we just cannot give up now. We can look around us at the many who struggle daily to eat, to feed their children.  Those who shiver in the cold unable to find adequate shelter.  Those who live in captivity and war.  We must look at those who have no hands or eyes or feet but they just keep going.

In my book I speak about Malala Yousafzai and Ramona Pierson, two remarkable women who have triumphed in the face of insurmountable obstacles.  But they are just two of many who just refused to give up.  What is your struggle compared to theirs?  If they can make it, so can you.

Let Go And Let God

“As soon as I stop worrying, worrying how the story ends, when I let go and I let God have his way. That’s when things start happening” – Let Go : DeWayne Woods

New age spiritualists say "We live in a benevolent universe". So maybe it's hard for you to believe in a He, called God.  Perhaps it's easier for you to say 'the universe supports my best interest'.  The important thing is that you believe in something that is bigger than this fragile frame which we call ourselves.  It is important to believe that whatever it is that is out there is friendly to you and supportive of you.

When you learn to surrender your battle, to simply let go and say “have your way”, then you are on your way to peace.

It Is Well With My Soul

"When sorrow like sea billows roll, whatever my lot thou has taught me to say, It is well with my soul" - Horatio Spafford

Perhaps the circumstances of your life have wounded you so much you find it hard to believe that anything or anyone cares about you. Look around you.   It's not just you.  God is not picking on you.  There's nothing that is so broken about you that you were singled out to suffer.

"It is in the quiet crucible of your personal, private sufferings that your noblest dreams are born and God's greatest gifts are given" - Wintley Phipps

Suffering has a way of refining us, of polishing away the narrow-mindedness, the selfishness, the arrogance and pride.  Suffering has a way of pulling from us tolerance, compassion, empathy.  Suffering has a way of teaching wisdom and building strength.

Perhaps if we begin to accept that whatever challenges present themselves in our lives are just messengers calling us to a higher purpose, just stepping stones leading to the next level, just weights that help us build our muscles; Perhaps if we learn to surrender to our lessons and look at our challenges as blessings;  Perhaps then we get to the point where we can say, "whatever my lot thou has taught me to say, It is well with my soul"

Go Get Your Blessing

"When you pray, don't tell God how big your problems are; Tell your problems how big your God is" - unknown

When you have made peace with your trial then it is time to move forward.  You've carried your crucible, now it is time to step out and go get your blessing.  

Your blessing may come in the form of helping others, it may come in teaching, it may come in just being more loving and compassionate in your interactions.  It may come in the form of the payoff that you have worked for and prayed for.

In this moment we may have no idea how our blessing will come to us.  Whatever the form you must believe that behind every cloud there is a silver lining, behind every challenge, your blessing awaits. So just start walking, even if you have no idea where you're going. Just start walking.

Go get your blessing and don’t stop until you receive it.  

“I almost let go, I felt I couldn’t take life anymore, my problems had me bound, depression weighed me down, but God held me close, so I wouldn’t let go” – I Almost Gave Up: Kurt Carr

Believe that there is a God who will hold you close when you need Him to.  And don't ever let go.

Inspiration Links

* I am in no way affiliated with the sites that I link to here.  The messages presented are in alignment with the thoughts presented in this post and they have inspired me, I hope that they will inspire you too.

"Today on my first day as an adult, on behalf of the world's children, I demand of leaders we must invest in books instead of bullets," – Malala Yousazai

 Malala Yousafzai  : Shot in the head for demanding the right to an education

Ramona Pierson : Shattered but not broken

I almost gave up : Kurt Carr

Speak Over Yourself  : Donald Lawrence and the TriState Singers

I look to you  : Whitney Houston

Author’s note

This post is inspired by Chapter 10 of my book Embracing Prosperity By Changing Your Mind.  In this chapter I look at various ways to claim the good in your life.  Gospel music is a powerful comforter and motivator.  Prayer is even more powerful.  I hope to persuade you that you can overcome anything that life throws at you by simply changing your mind.  

    

It would be my pleasure to share a free gift with you, if you would like to receive an excerpt from my book just click here  and mention today's topic.

If you liked this post I would be so appreciative if you would spread the word and like me on Facebook.  I would be happy to email this and future posts directly to you, if you're interested please subscribe to my mailing list. You may also follow me on Twitter #ProsperityIsMind.

I would also be delighted to hear your feedback so do not hesitate to leave a comment if you so desire and be sure to come back for more as I walk you through more of the lessons and exercises from my book.

I bless you, I bless your journey and I am so happy to be a part of it.  May this be the year that you begin to find ways to scale your mountains.

You Are A Masterpiece..Value? Priceless

I was listening to a Wayne Dyer seminar and I was struck by the question "What would it be like to live your life as a masterpiece?".

Picasso immediately sprang into my mind.  In 2015 his painting 'Women of Algiers'  broke records for the most expensive artwork sold at auction, selling for a stunning one hundred and seventy nine million dollars ($179m) amid high demand from collectors.

Have you ever looked at a Picasso?  I'm sure the pundits will carry on at length about his brilliant use of layers of colour, the intricacy of his brush strokes and so on but to the uneducated eye a Picasso looks like the crayon drawings of a demented second grader.

I did a review of the most expensive art on earth and the familiar names showed up, Picasso, Van Gogh, Warhol et al.  Of the twenty most expensive pieces only one to me looked like an attractive demonstration of artistic talent, yet these paintings are solid investments to the people who are most adept at determining worth.

I saw a lesson in this.  So often we look at all our flaws, we can point out every brushstroke which went awry, we magnify every smudge and every shadow.  We fail to see that we are priceless just as we are.

Do you know that you are a masterpiece?

You Are The Breath Of God

“And the LORD God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul.” Genesis 2 : 7

I love the imagery in this scripture.  Do you know that when you die your body weighs exactly what it did when you were alive?  That life energy that makes you You has no mass to it, it has no form, no substance, yet when that life force is gone it is starkly obvious.

We are not our physical forms.  We are not black or white, male or female.  We are not fat or slim, healthy or sick.  We are energy.  Can you find fault with the wind?  Can you criticize it "the wind is looking fat today".  Can you berate the wind and put it down and tell it that it is not good enough?

Yet you do all these things to yourself,  the very breath of God.

 You Are The Creation Of Perfect Love

"God created you in perfect love that is changeless and eternal" - Dr Wayne Dyer

A friend recently commented that she felt like a waste of life, simply using up other people's air.  I understand her pain, she struggles under the burden of chronic illness.  Another friend struggles with chronic depression, she sees herself as useless, worthless, a cruel cosmic mistake.

God makes no mistakes.  There are no wasted lives.  Each of us is a creation of perfect love and each one of us is perfectly loved. 

You Are Perfect Just As You Are

"I exist as I am, that is enough " - Walt Witman

I read recently the story of the broken water pot.  An elderly woman carried water from a stream in two water pots suspended on the ends of a pole which she carried across her neck.  One pot was whole the other was broken.  Every day she would arrive home with one full pot and one half empty. Finally the woman was asked why she did not replace the broken pot.  The woman pointed out that she had planted seeds on the side of the road and the broken pot watered these seeds each day as she walked home.  From these seeds she was able to harvest beautiful flowers for her table.

Each of us has our divinely appointed role and many of us are playing our roles out even now without knowing it.  The next time you are tempted to see yourself as broken remember the broken water pot.   You are never without value because you impact the world around you by simply being and a loving master can use your imperfections to make a beautiful garden.

You Are More Than You Are

Dr Dyer references the story of Michelangelo's 'David'.  Michelangelo said that David always existed within the slab of marble, he just chipped away the excess to set David free.

Maybe you look at yourself right now and you see an unformed, undefined slab.  If you look closely you can see the beauty in the natural stone but for most the beauty becomes apparent only as the sculptor starts to chip away at it, bringing forth forms which our human minds can see and appreciate.

The David sculpture is particularly famous for the attention to detail which Michelangelo brought to his masterpiece.  I am struck by the exquisite skill with which he executed every hair, the textures of skin, even finger and toenails.  He is commended for his perfect mastery of human proportion and then tweaking reality to bring forth the image of a perfectly beautiful man.

God is the master sculptor and the hard knocks which we feel in our lives are simply strokes of the master's chisel.  The refining process can be painful, so much so that we sometimes cannot see beyond our pain.  

Perhaps it would help if we were to accept each time we feel the master's strokes that there is a David inside each one of us and all we go through now is simply the process of creation of a masterpiece.  God is simply chipping away the excess to set you free.

You Are Priceless

“You are uniquely and wonderfully made.  You are just right just as you are.  There is none greater or more worthy than you.  You are child of God and not only are you kings and queens  by inheritance,  you are specially gifted and talented”  – Embracing Prosperity By Changing Your Mind

What is the price of a human soul?  Who can put a value on who you are?  Is your value defined by your job, your house, your kids, your marriage?  Is your value defined by the opinions of others?  Do you need to achieve success, or wealth or any other earthly recognition to be valuable in your own mind? 

In my book Embracing Prosperity By Changing Your Life I speak about my own struggle to recognize my own worth in the face of a lifetime of negative conditioning combined with living with a debilitating illness.  But I am blessed with the innate knowledge that I was born special and there was nothing that I needed to do, to achieve or to be in order to deserve that.  I am special, I am worthy, I am blessed, I am valuable simply because I am.  That is grace,  and grace is available to every one of us.

Your worth has no price tag.  You are uniquely and wonderfully made and none is more worthy than you.  You are more valuable than any Picasso, because you are priceless.

Inspiration Link

* I am in no way affiliated with the sites that I link to here.  The messages presented are in alignment with the thoughts presented in this post and they have inspired me, I hope that they will inspire you too.

The Awakened Life - Dr Wayne Dyer 

How to get Unlimited Universal Energy, Love & Happiness - Dr Wayne Dyer

Author’s note

This post is inspired by Chapter One  of my book Embracing Prosperity By Changing Your Mind – Know Yourself.   I hope to persuade you that there is no circumstance in your life that can ever make you unworthy of the prosperity and  happiness that you desire.  You can claim your worth by simply changing your mind.   

It would be my pleasure to share a free gift with you, if you would like to receive an excerpt from my book just click here  and mention today's topic.

If you liked this post I would be so appreciative if you would spread the word and like me on Facebook.  I would be happy to email this and future posts directly to you, if you're interested please subscribe to my mailing list. You may also follow me on Twitter #ProsperityIsMind.

I would also be delighted to hear your feedback so do not hesitate to leave a comment if you so desire and be sure to come back for more as I walk you through more of the lessons and exercises from my book.

I bless you, I bless your journey and I am so happy to be a part of it.  May this be the year that you begin truly appreciate your own worth.

The Forgiveness Prayer

"For most of my life I carried around a crippling burden of rage, frustration, resentment, judgement, distrust and negative expectations of others.  Over and over again life threw at me circumstances and people who aroused these feelings within me.  As I began to awaken I quickly realized that if I really wanted to live, I first needed to forgive. " - EmbracingProsperity By Changing Your Mind

People are hurting.  They hide their pain behind a polite smile, or comical cutting up.  They may be aloof, detached, arrogant or suspicious.  They may be critical, judgmental or aggressive.  They may simply wall their emotions off behind a blank stare.

Pain expresses itself in addiction, in promiscuity and infidelity, in food dependencies and body image issues.  Unresolved emotional pain colours every aspect of our day to day existence expressing in our relationships at work, at home, among friends and family and in the world. 

And most damaging is the pain that is not consciously expressed, the pain that we internalize which manifests itself in depression, anxiety and a wide variety of mental and physical ailments.

What if the point is not to hide your pain, not to deflect or ignore it but rather to be free of it?  What if your freedom lies in something as simple as forgiveness?

The Forgiveness Prayer

"Have you heard of the Hawaiian therapist who cured an entire ward of criminally insane patients, without ever meeting any of them or spending a moment in the same room? It’s not a joke. The therapist was Dr. Ihaleakala Hew Len. He reviewed each of the patients’ files, and then he healed them by healing himself. The amazing results seem like a miracle, but then miracles do happen when you use Ho’oponopono" - laughteronlineuniversity.com

I came across Ho’oponopono a year ago and it struck a chord with me.  I think one of the biggest challenges with forgiveness is waiting for the other person to not only apologize, but to do so in a way which seems authentic and heartfelt to us.  We want them to take responsibility and make amends.  Most of the time they won't.

"Total responsibility for your life means that everything in your life – simply because it is in your life – is your responsibility." - Dr. Ihaleakala Hew Len

Ho’oponopono is based on the principle of accepting total responsibility for everything that happens in your lives.  If we start to think of ourselves as the owner of a situation and not the victim  then we lose the sense of powerlessness and we take control of the situation.  We also relieve ourselves of the burden of waiting and carrying the negative emotions as we do so.

Ho’oponopono allows us to set ourselves free, regardless of what the other party does.

I'm Sorry

"When we forgive evil we do not excuse it, we do not tolerate it, we do not smother it. We look the evil full in the face, call it what it is, let its horror shock and stun and enrage us, and only then do we forgive it." — Lewis B. Smedes

Have you ever considered the role you play in any situation in which you are wounded?  Yes there are situations in which you are simply an innocent bystander who gets carried away in a situation which is totally outside of your control but many times when we think we are the innocent victim of a situation, we are actually an active contributor.

What if instead of blaming the other person for our unpleasant experience, we simply take responsibility and say I'm sorry?

I've tried this in situations where I am convinced that I am absolutely 100%, unequivocally and and unquestionably right!  I've found that allowing myself to see the situation from the other person's perspective has significantly impacted the way I look at and feel about the situation.

Even if you can't imagine how you could possibly have any responsibility in the situation, try it.  Just say "I am sorry that I have done XXX to contribute to this situation" and genuinely mean it.

Please Forgive Me

"Because of forgiveness, we are not condemned endlessly to replay the conflicts of the past and that is why forgiveness is logically and psychologically related to hope."—Rabbi Jonathan Sacks

Do you have the grace to ask the person who wronged you to forgive you?  Can you genuinely feel remorse and a heartfelt need to make things right?   Are you able to step out of your own pain long enough to say 'forgive me'?

I have developed a fair bit of tolerance over the years for the shortcomings of others. I may still get angry but I am usually able to take responsibility and move to a place of making amends fairly quickly.  It has enabled me to develop peace in my heart with respect to my expectations of other people.  I am better able to simply accept them as they are, taking the good, the bad and the ugly as part of the package and choosing to love them anyway.

"I am sorry for making you feel unworthy, please forgive me for my harsh words..."

I Love You

“If forgiveness is an expression of love..forgiveness does not depend upon the apology of the other.” - Anantanand Rambachan

I love you.  I've always loved people, but now I am learning to be more loving toward people.  I'm learning to say "You have let me down and I'm disappointed, but I love you".

I love you is powerful concept and applicable to all situations.  I'm learning to love the business associates who short-change me and the people who take me for granted or take advantage.  I'm learning to love the bullies.  I'm learning to love the inept souls who can't seem to do anything right.  I'm learning to say it and I'm learning to live it.

Sometimes all you need to diffuse a tough situation is "I'm sorry, I love you, I'm sorry, I love you, I'm sorry, I love you...".  If you just keep repeating these words to yourself you may be surprised to see the situation resolve itself with no further action on your part.

Thank You

"Suffice it to say that whenever you want to improve anything in your life, there's only one place to look: inside you.  And when you look, do it with love."- Dr Joe Vitale

"I thank you for trying", "I thank you for being you", "I thank you, just because...".  I believe gratitude is an important part of forgiveness because when we are upset with someone we tend to forget everything that is good about them.  In that moment when you are most grieved, if you can manage to think of all the things about the other person that you can be grateful for, then you may find that your gratitude outweighs your hurt.

Forgiving Yourself

"Turns out that loving yourself is the greatest way to improve yourself, and as you improve yourself, you improve your world." - Dr Joe Vitale

Forgiving is ultimately about loving.  It is about loving others and it is about loving ourselves also.  There are days when my body is in pain and I can find no peace, then I place my hand on wherever's hurting and I say "I love you my beautiful body, I am so sorry for whatever I have done to contribute to your pain, please forgive me.  Thank you for working so hard to heal".  It is a very comforting ritual.

There are days you need to do Ho’oponopono on your heart to release all the hurt you're carrying around and to free yourself from guilt, shame, resentment and anger.  There are days you need to do Ho’oponopono on your mind to release negative expectations, distrust and insecurity.

Try it.  Try it with your spouse, with your children, with friends.  Try it with the guy who cut you off in traffic, or the a!!hole at work.  The power of this process has to be experienced to be understood.

"Forgiveness has to be repeated, the bible says seventy times seven." - Embracing Prosperity By Changing Your Mind

Don't forget that hearts and minds don't heal overnight.  You may not be able to change a situation right away but what you can do is take responsibility for you.  Do your Ho’oponopono practice daily, be diligent and remain open.  You just may be pleasantly surprised by the result.

Inspiration Links

* I am in no way affiliated with the sites that I link to here.  The messages presented are in alignment with the thoughts presented in this post and they have inspired me, I hope that they will inspire you too.

Ho'oponopono : Dr Joe Vitale 

Consider Forgiveness: Sin, Sinner and Apology - Fetzer Institute

Author’s note

This post is inspired by Chapter Four of my book Embracing Prosperity By Changing Your Mind – Forgive.  I hope to persuade you that forgiveness is the most important step you can take to change your life by changing your mind.  

It would be my pleasure to share a free gift with you, if you would like to receive an excerpt from my book just click here  and mention today's topic.

If you liked this post I would be so appreciative if you would spread the word and like me on Facebook.  I would be happy to email this and future posts directly to you, if you're interested please subscribe to my mailing list. You may also follow me on Twitter #ProsperityIsMind.

I would also be delighted to hear your feedback so do not hesitate to leave a comment if you so desire and be sure to come back for more as I walk you through more of the lessons and exercises from my book.

I bless you, I bless your journey and I am so happy to be a part of it.  May this be the year that you begin to shed your baggage and reclaim your life.

I Hate You But I Love You

"I hate you , then I love you;  Then I love you, then I hate you;

Then I love you more,

For whatever you do

I never, never, never want to be in love with anyone but you." - Celine Dion, Luciano Pavarotti

I was surprised to read a statistic that 44% of sexual assault victims are under the age of 18.  This means that 56% percent are adults.  

Women are sexually abused by their boyfriends and husbands (yes, husbands), by trusted friends, business associates and family members.  As girls we are abused by our grandfathers, fathers, uncles, brothers, neighbors, caregivers and family friends.  I read also that 93% of abuse victims know their abuser.

It would be nice if sexual predators were strangers, disfigured monsters that we could spit at from a distance and hate without reservation.  But what do you do when you love the person who hurt you?

Heartbreak & Betrayal

They broke your trust.  They were supposed to look out for you, to protect you, to keep you safe.  They,  above all people were supposed to respect you and care about you.  They were not supposed to destroy you.

There are many heartbreaks in life, but none so profound as the breaking of a little girl's heart when the man who is supposed to protect her, hurts her. 

Most young girls never heal, never learn to trust again.  Instead they spend their lives chasing the sense of security that they lost and they just keep running into heartbreak and betrayal over and over again because deep down they are really just chasing their abuser.

And it doesn't really matter how old a woman is when she is sexually abused.  The very act strips away her womanhood and returns her to that place where she is a scared, powerless little girl sniveling in a corner, trying to understand that which is incomprehensible.

Healing is about putting your heart back together, it may always carry some scars but you will learn to honor your scars and to stand tall in the lessons you've learnt.  Healing is about learning to trust again and learning to love again.

Guilt

You caused this.  You caused it by being provocative (even when you were five years old).  You caused it by being rebellious.  You caused it by being in the wrong place at the wrong time.  You did the wrong thing, you said the wrong thing, you wore the wrong thing.    You caused it..well, just because you did!

How cruel the voices which we carry in our own heads and how viciously they flay us.  How unremitting they can be, torturing us day after day, year after year and we can't get away from them.  Drugs, alcohol, sex, food, work, money, church .. nothing helps,  you can't run away from the voices in your head!

Your abuser is the one who made the wrong decision not you.  It really doesn't matter if you were dancing on his lap half naked stoned out of your mind.  He took the decision to take advantage of the situation, whatever the situation was.

The burden of guilt is not yours to carry.  Let it go.  It is done, you've beaten yourself up enough, it's time to start healing.  As Jesus said to the harlot "woman, thy sins are forgiven".

"In truth, Guilt’s strength lies not in the failure of others to grant us forgiveness, but in our failure to forgive ourselves.” - Kelseyleigh Reber

 Shame

You still want him to love you.  You still want to run to him and hug him, maybe even snuggle up on his lap and hear his heart beating.  You want him to tell you that he loves you, you want him to show you.

And you're ashamed because you shouldn't want these things from him.  Maybe you start thinking that this is why it happened in the first place, because something inside of you is so broken, you brought this onto yourself.

Healing is about letting go of the shame.  It is about accepting what happened, accepting what you could or should have done differently, accepting your own helplessness and absolving yourself of the shame. Jesus said when challenged for his forgiveness of the harlot "I say unto thee, her sins, which are many, are forgiven; for she loved much"

Hold onto your ability to love.  Above all love yourself, love the person who abused you and allow yourself to love and trust others again.

Confusion

Do you ever look at your abuser and think 'but he's such a nice guy'? 

He's outgoing, he's handsome he has people in the palm of his hand.  Or he may be shy and sensitive, the tortured poet.  He may be hard-working and dedicated and kind.  He may be a policeman, a teacher, a preacher even a priest.  He may be so many noble and admirable things.  You look at him and you see a beautiful soul and you love him.

How do you balance the monster against the man.  How do you hate the monster and love the man?

Acceptance

You can't get from him what he never had to give.  I believe all abusers are broken themselves.  They do not have within themselves that wholeness, that ability to love and be loved unselfishly.  The abuse is their way of running from their own demons, a salve to the wounds which they are still struggling to heal.

In our minds our abusers are so big and powerful.  They hurt us so much, they crippled our lives in so many ways, in our minds they are giants, we can't imagine that they too are somehow vulnerable.

Truth is abusers are only human.  They are simply fragile, flawed human beings who chose the wrong way to deal with their own pain.  They have their own battles to fight.  And they will never understand the enormity of what they have done to you.

When we begin to accept our abuser's humanity, we begin to heal.

Forgiveness

"The soul that is unable to forgive is sentenced to an endless purgatory where time stands still and it is forced to relive its pain over and over onto eternity." - Embracing Prosperity By Changing Your Mind

In my book Embracing Prosperity By Changing Your Mind I have an entire chapter devoted to forgiveness.  I believe the single most important thing an abused woman can do to help her own healing is to forgive.

                                                        - nitesoul.wordpress.com

“When you initially forgive, it is like letting go of a hot iron. There is initial pain and the scars will show, but you can start living again.” - Stephen Richards

First and foremost you must forgive yourself.  It doesn't matter how many ways you can find for blaming yourself, it doesn't matter how many things you have told yourself, or other people have told you, you can forgive yourself.  You must forgive yourself.

                                                       - nitesoul.wordpress.com

Then you must forgive your abuser.

“When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free.” - Catherine Ponder

The anger, the frustration, the resentment, the fear which we hold inside kills us slowly.  It poisons our hearts, our minds, our spirits and our bodies.  It leads to depression, heart disease, high blood pressure and cancer.  It is like a slow acting acid that eats away at our very souls. 

To neutralize it's effects we must forgive the one that hurt us.  There is no other way. I can't promise that it will be easy.  I can't promise you'll do it one time and be done with it.  But I can promise that it will set you free.

"Forgiveness is opening the door to set someone free, and realizing that you were the prisoner" 

- Max Lucado

Finally, you must forgive everyone who was involved or who knew about the situation and failed to make it right.  There are so many dynamics at play here, so many reasons why so many failed to do what you needed them to do.  Like your abuser, they too are human.  They make mistakes, they fail us.  It is pointless to hold grudges, if you are to be free you must freely forgive and release everyone involved.

"I fully and freely forgive everyone for everything, real or imagined, known or unknown, in all dimensions of time and space and I go free..." - Catherine Ponder

If you work at it you will one day get to the place where you can look at your abuser and say "I love you" and the "I hate you" will be irrelevant.  When that day comes you will know that you are truly free.

Inspiration Link

* I am in no way affiliated with the sites that I link to here.  The messages presented are in alignment with the thoughts presented in this post and they have inspired me, I hope that they will inspire you too.

Forgiveness And LoveConquers All  - Stephen Richards : 

Author’s note

This is the second of a two-part post on healing from sexual abuse.  Part One is "When The Pain Runs Too Deep To Heal".

The post is inspired by Section 2 of my book Embracing Prosperity By Changing Your Mind – Release The Negative.  I dedicate several chapters to the issue of healing because it is the most important part of changing your mind.  I also dedicate an entire chapter to the subject of forgiveness and walk you through activities and exercises to help you with the process.

I hope to persuade you that your pain can heal and forgiveness is the most important step in your journey to healing. 

It would be my pleasure to share a free gift with you, if you would like to receive an excerpt from my book just click here  and mention the topic 'Forgiveness'.

If you liked this post I would be so appreciative if you would spread the word, Share and like me on Facebook.  I would be so happy to email this and future posts directly to you, if you're interested please subscribe to my mailing list. You may also follow me on Twitter #ProsperityIsMind.

I would also be delighted to hear your feedback so do not hesitate to leave a comment if you so desire and be sure to come back for more as I walk you through some of the lessons and exercises from my book.

I bless you, I bless your journey and I am so happy to be a part of it.