Justin Beiber says "if you like the way you look that much, well baby you should go and love yourself". Well, maybe you should go and love yourself. Do you?
I didn't ask if you're full of yourself, that's a whole other question, which ironically means that no, you're not loving yourself very much. Insecurity might cause you to wrap yourself in an armor of brash self promotion but if like narcissus you are so taken with yourself it prevents you from seeing, hearing and appreciating others, then you should look into really learning to love yourself...
Loving Yourself Means Knowing Yourself
Do you know who you really are? In my book Embracing Prosperity By Changing Your Mind I look at the various ways in which people mistakenly define themselves. Sometimes we define ourselves through our jobs, sometimes it's through our friends or relatives or spouses. Sometimes we define ourselves by the roles we play, 'wife', 'mother', 'caregiver', 'friend'.While these are all important aspects of the tapestry we call life, none of these things really describes who we are. Who you are comes down to a few things...
1. What are the traits that you possess that come naturally to you
2. What are the gifts that are yours to share with the world
3. What are your dreams, desires and expectations
One of the keys to loving yourself is understanding who you were really born to be. There is a 'you' that was created by your environment.. parents, home life, challenges, opportunities, culture etc. Then there is the 'you' that you were born to be. Sometimes if you look closely you will find that the two versions of you are completely different persons.
If you are to truly love yourself it is important to be the person you were born to be. Whenever the 'you' that is in the driver's seat is out of alignment with the 'you' that you know deep inside then it becomes almost impossible to truly love yourself. In order to love yourself you must be true to who you are.
Loving Yourself Means Being Tolerant of Your Flaws
Is there anyone on earth who can be harder on us than we are on ourselves? Yes, I know what it's like to be at the mercy of an abusive parent or spouse. I know how it feels to live with someone who can see no good in you, for whom you never do anything right and I know what it's like to feel like a victim, a helpless physical and emotional punching bag. So I say this with confidence, nobody in your life is harder on you than you are.
Listen to the way you talk to yourself. How many times do you tell yourself that you're a screw-up, that you're not good enough, not pretty enough, not slim enough? How many times do you tell yourself that you can't do anything right, or that other people don't like you? Or that you are somehow so broken that you are absolutely unlovable?
Do you ever tell yourself that when other people treat you badly it's your fault? Well .. it is. Not because there's anything wrong with you but because deep down inside you are thinking the things that they are saying and showing to you. The way another person treats to you is a direct reflection of the way you think about yourself.
If you are to even begin to love yourself you must accept that you are simply human. Beautifully, imperfectly human. Yes you have flaws, like everyone else. Yes you make mistakes and drop the ball and do some really, really stupid things sometimes. And that is perfectly OK.
Loving Yourself Means Wanting The Best For Yourself
The biggest disservice we can do to ourselves is believing someone else when they tell us we are not good enough. We hate it but we love it. We embrace it, we hold onto it, we build our lives around it. Lies! We build our entire lives around hurtful, damaging, debasing lies.
Loving yourself means accepting that you are as good as anyone else on this planet. You deserve to be treated as well as anyone else. You are as worthy of love, success and prosperity as anyone else. You were born worthy and there is nothing you could ever do to lose that right. You don't have to look a particular way or do anything in particular to be worthy, you just are. Your past mistakes are just that, past. They do not define who you are or your worthiness for the best that life has to offer.
If you want to start to love yourself, start wanting nothing but the best for yourself in every aspect of your life. Accept nothing less, from yourself or from anyone else.
Loving Yourself Means Being Proud of Yourself
Every one of us can find a reason to proud of ourselves every single day. Yes I know we mess up badly sometimes and perhaps right now, in this moment our lives are a total mess and it's our fault!
I'll allow you to wallow in self-pity for a moment. OK. Got that out of your system? Look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself “Hello my beautiful self, I Love You”. Now tell yourself why you're proud of yourself.
It might be you're proud because you're reading this post, that means something inside you wants something good for you. Give yourself a pat on the back. Well done!
Perhaps you picked the kids up on time, or you made dinner. Perhaps you had a shower and put on your makeup this morning. Perhaps you gave an encouraging word to someone else. Perhaps you listened while someone else cried. Life is filled with opportunities to be proud of ourselves but we have been taught to take the good that we do for granted and focus on what we haven't done or who we are failing to be.
Find reasons to be proud of yourself and then do more things that you are proud of. That's called loving yourself.
Loving Yourself Means Being Willing to Take Care of Yourself
You take care of home. You take care of your spouse, your children, your family, your friends. You take of work, you take care of strangers, of people at church. You care for people, you give of yourself unselfishly, sometimes too much.
How much are you giving to yourself?
Loving yourself means making time for you. It means making sure that your spirit is nurtured and encouraged. It means doing things you love to do and being the person you love to be. It means surrounding yourself with people who encourage and support you.
Loving yourself means setting aside some money just for you. It means doing your hair and wearing nice clothes and looking good when you step out into the world. It means splurging on that facial and having yourself a spa day every now and then. It means manicures and pedicures and treatments that allow others to take care of you.
Loving yourself means feeding your dreams and desires. It means committing to the things that feed your soul. It means stepping fearlessly out and claiming who you are!
Loving yourself means allowing others to take care of you. It also means refusing to allow others to treat your poorly. It means walking away when you need to and allowing into your life only the people who want to treat you with the kindness, respect and care that you deserve.
Loving yourself means standing up for yourself, nurturing yourself, keeping company with yourself, friending yourself. supporting yourself, encouraging yourself, taking ownership of and for .. yourself.
Loving Yourself Means Loving Others
"No man is an island, no man stands alone; Each man's joy is joy to me, each man's grief is my own; We need one another..." I learned those words in a song as a child. How true it is that we need one another. We need loving, supportive relationships in order to grow and thrive.
Loving yourself is about accepting that you are lovely, you are lovable, you are loved. You are love. When you learn to embrace the concept of loving and being loved freely and without fear or reservation, giving and receiving with equal comfort then you have truly learned to love yourself.
Author’s note
This post is inspired by chapter one of my book Embracing Prosperity By Changing Your Mind – Who Am l? I hope to persuade you that you are worthy of all the blessings that you desire in life and that it is in your power to claim them, by simply changing your mind.
In the book
I share my own experiences and walk you through activities and exercises to
help you to begin to truly understand and appreciate yourself. I speak about learning to listen to yourself, following your light, embracing your shadow and going with your gut.
It would be my pleasure to share a free gift with you, if you would like to receive an excerpt from my book just click here and mention the title of this post.
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I would also be delighted to hear your feedback so do not hesitate to leave a comment if you so desire and be sure to come back for more as I walk you through some of the lessons and exercises from my book.
I bless you, I bless your journey and I am so happy to be a part of it. May this be the year that you begin to claim the best that life has to offer.
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